Written on 10:37 PM by c meridian
"Prepare the earplugs and barf bag. You’ve been warned."
#1 : I Wanna Have Your Babies – Natasha Bedingfield
"Freaks men out, just a little less than castration"
No song guarantees to make men run in the opposite direction like this one. Indeed, if you plan to have a love life, first your mission would be not to scare away boyfriends who are not ready for marriage (yet). Girls, take it out of your playlist now! Censor it like a plague in your Friendster, MySpace or personal weblog.
Sample lyrics:
I wanna have your babies / Get serious like crazy / I wanna have your babies / I see ''em springin up like daisies!
#2 : I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) – Meatloaf
"Ok, I give up. What is it that you won’t do?"
Help her cheat on her exams? Buy her a Louis Vuitton handbag? Walk her dog? What? What?!
Sample Lyrics:
But I''ll never forgive myself if we don''t go all the way, tonight / I would do anything for love / I would do anything for love / But I won''t do that!
#3 : Every Breath You Take – Police
I’m calling the cops."
Funny they are called Police, because that’s whom you’d call if you heard it being dedicated to you on MixFM’s Love Songs & Dedications. Even the first few words of the song, “Every breath you take / Every move you make / Every step you take / I’ll be watching you” are enough to make any girl reach for the pepper spray. This voyeuristic anthem has ‘stalker’ written all over it. It’s a classic tune, but stay away from this song during a date, at all costs.
Sample lyrics:
Every smile you fake / Every claim you stake / I’ll be watching you / Oh, cant you see / You belong to me
#4 : Two Steps Behind – Def Leppard
"I’m calling the cops… again."
And if you were stupid enough to play ‘Every Breath You Take’ on your date in the first place, continuing with this song back to back would… well, don’t say we didn’t warn you!
Sample lyrics:
Whatever you do / I’ll be two steps behind you / Wherever you go / I’ll be there to remind you / That it only takes a minute of your precious time / To turn around / And I’ll be two steps behind.
#5 : Can I Touch You There – Michael Bolton
"The answer is NO"
Michael Bolton has so many offences to his name, some of them include– the worst hair of the 90’s, corniest lyrics award and songs that work faster than tranquilizers darts. But this song tops them all with OTT sleaze and grossly inappropriate songwriting that puts it firmly in the “to be enjoyed in private” section. The moment it plays in the car, you’re bang on cue for sexual harassment lawsuit or a slap on the face.
Sample lyrics:
Can I touch you there, touch you deep within, oh / Can I touch you there, can I touch you oh...(there) / Need to reach the very deepest part of you / Let me be the one to show you just what love can do
#6 : Said I Love You But I Lied – Michael Bolton
"Any vacancy at Tanjung Rambutan?"
They say women are complex beings often not understood by men. Well, Michael Bolton has single-handedly reversed the age-old axiom. Now even men can be indecisive, schizophrenics. Never has a song tried to be sweet, but turned out so absurd.
Said I loved you but I lied
''Cause this is more than love I feel inside
Said I loved you but I was wrong
''Cause love could never ever feel so strong
Said I loved you but I lied…
#7 : God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You – N’Sync
"Oh my god, that’s like so sweet or something"
Boy band’s inherent powers work like a charm on teenagers and pre-pubescent children – when their vocabulary isn’t quite as complete. Thus these cheesier than cheese pick-up-line lyrics are useless after high school.
Sample Lyrics:
Your love is like a river / Peaceful and deep (peaceful and deep) / When I look into your eyes / I know that it''s true / God must have spent / A little more time (on you, on you…)
#8 : I Go Blind – Hootie & the Blowfish
"A song that’s almost as bad as the band’s name"
We’ve heard a lot of bad band names like My Chemical Romance, Fat Boy Slim, The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Sex Pistols, but Hootie and The Blowfish comes close to being in the top 10 most idiotic names. Speaking of bad, now on to the lyrics…
Sample Lyrics:
Every time I look at you / I go blind. (Repeat twice. Oh my god. Do you really want to know what the rest of the song is like?)
#9 : Glory of Love – Peter Cetera
"So cheesy, it’ll make a mouse vomit!"
You know you’re trying too hard when. You know you’re not getting any call back when. You know you are going to end up a 40-year old virgin when you make a mix-tape (or disc) filled with love songs and one of them include Peter Cetera’s Glory Of Love. His impossible falsetto and goose-bump lyrics will make even the most romantic women cringe. You’ll have better luck with Hanson’s Mmmbop.
Sample Lyrics:
I am a man who will fight for your honour / I’ll be the hero you’re dreaming of / We’ll live forever / Knowing together that we / Did it all for the glory of love / Just like a knight in shining armor / From a long time ago / Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away. (Vomit).
#10 : I Love You More – Eminem
“This guy needs potty training”
No matter how much you love the skinny white dude from Detroit with a potty mouth (aka Eminem), there’s little reason to share your passion with your date or girlfriend. ‘Em’ has a wide repertoire of topics in his songs, ranging from mother hating, critic dissing, intolerance for sexual diversity, celebrity bashing but the worst would be girlfriend killing. “Put anthrax on a tampax, and slap you till you can't stand” from Superman and “Sl*t, you think I won't choke no wh*r*” quoted from Kill You, a song dedicated to his mum, is a surefire way of not wanting to hear from your date again. Throw that Eminem CD out of the car right now.
Sample Lyrics:
Yeah I would cuz the sex is too damn good,
If I ran who would I run to,
That would be this soft and warm,
So it's off and on, usually more off than on,
But at least we know that we
share this common bond,
You're the only one I can fuck
without a condom on,
I hope, the only reason that I cope,
Is cuz of that fact,
And plus I can bust in that,
And that's why...
Written on 5:49 PM by c meridian
"Sanjaya-esque"
Who cares if he couldn't hold a note to save his dear balls? Who cares if his hair-raising er... hairstyles would give Vidal Sassoon a heart attack. Who cares if our dearly beloved (at least according to the American Idol votes & staying power) Sangina, could kill a mockingbird to a bloody death just by singing. This famous has-been is making a comeback. Just look at these pictures and judge for yourself...
